Month: December 2014

Wife: “Do you know how to make rhubarb pie?” — “No, but let me consult the grimoire.” http://t.co/QAO113WbiJ

@CharlesSchwab please, please, PLEASE fix this: http://t.co/vqNVaJDFqm

@jaredsinclair WOW. I can’t even imagine how angry I would be if I were in your shoes. //@Hertz

@amahnke That’s an insane way to shop for books.

@sirbarrence haha that’s very close. We have a pork roast that won’t fit in the pressure cooker. Gotta hack through the bone.

My wife is sending me to the store to buy something critical to finishing Christmas dinner… a hacksaw.

Dropped by @BestBuy to see if I could get an iPhone at full price. They said it’s at manager’s discretion and currently the answer is “no.”

Is that the sound of a neighborhood girl shrieking in fun or someone being tragically murdered? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

So when will Cuban cigars be available at my local Costco?

@lyricsboy I get so mad at the kind where you have to smash the metal button and then you have about two seconds before it cuts off.