Wife: “Do you know how to make rhubarb pie?” — “No, but let me consult the grimoire.” http://t.co/QAO113WbiJ
Year: 2014
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@CharlesSchwab please, please, PLEASE fix this: http://t.co/vqNVaJDFqm
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@jaredsinclair WOW. I can’t even imagine how angry I would be if I were in your shoes. //@Hertz
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@amahnke That’s an insane way to shop for books.
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@sirbarrence haha that’s very close. We have a pork roast that won’t fit in the pressure cooker. Gotta hack through the bone.
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My wife is sending me to the store to buy something critical to finishing Christmas dinner… a hacksaw.
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Dropped by @BestBuy to see if I could get an iPhone at full price. They said it’s at manager’s discretion and currently the answer is “no.”
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Is that the sound of a neighborhood girl shrieking in fun or someone being tragically murdered? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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So when will Cuban cigars be available at my local Costco?
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@lyricsboy I get so mad at the kind where you have to smash the metal button and then you have about two seconds before it cuts off.