Author: Matt Morris

Been using the iPad to do Khan Academy with the kids. Man, they’re really rough on the cable. http://t.co/ue9NxDS7c6

After he stopped crying he says, “Papa, I’m having a bad day.” Yes son, that definitely qualifies.

So my 3 year-old accidentally dropped the toilet lid, and it slammed down on his penis.

@pjrvs very nice

@Lobstrosity ahaha yes. And then follow them around the house.

Just spotted my neighbor on House of Cards. She even got to speak a line!

@caitlynmayers haha perfect

I figure there has to be a price of admission for traipsing through my house in your salty snow boots.

My landlord is bringing by prospective tenants to view our place. What’s the best way to subtlety troll them? Paging @jseifer

“Why Kevin Spacy’s Accent in House of Cards Sounds Off” http://t.co/FIvwBaY1GB Regional accents and dialects are fascinating.