Category: Snippets

Driving. Everyone is quiet. Then, “Papa, you’re broken.” *mind spirals into an existential panic* “Just like Humpty Dumpty HAHAHAHAHAHA”

@cassidoo hah I just hit play on that and my baby FREAKED out lol

@_ChrisMay after reading over these forms, I would not be surprised at all if someone were to show up at my house to take a look around.

@_ChrisMay yep and the list goes on… A detailed description of all assets, account numbers, life insurance policies

Ron Swanson was right. Weapons. Wood Working. Welfare Avoidance.

Permission to access bank records, contact former and current employers, request records from doc security and IRS. And a power of attorney?

Applying for Medicaid requires more information disclosure than a mortgage application. That’s impressive.

Just called to cancel my @Uverse service. The rep sounded genuinely offended when I explained that it was “barely useable.”

@tonymillion yep just until some company files a trademark claim against my Twitter handle and erases the last evidence that I ever existed.

Wish I could fave this one twice. https://t.co/47Lr1N98Qu